Desk Condiments

by SoulBroNo3

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about

Another fun comedy hip-hop EP!
5 songs plus 1 radio play.
Features beats that are better than ever!
All sales will go towards funding the production of more SoulBrothaNumbuh3 videos!

A full purchase of this album will give you access to ALL instrumentals used for no additional charge.

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released June 10, 2015

Hoobastankonia

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SoulBrothaNumbuh3 D.C.

Comedy hip-hop to brighten your day.

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Track Name: Desk Mess
2 bottles of
crushed red peppers, one full one empty
11 crushed cans of my lemon Nestea
little messy, skeleton snow mans
just gotta know plans for some fresh coke cans
oh man half bucket of jam
another set of peanut butter jars on the stand
on with the ham size of my arm and my hand
appetizing your man with Spaghettio cans
Hungry-Man on my lasagna pan
and it's on your hands for a cleaning plan
they all ran, man. now I can't stand smell trantrums
hand sanitizer now I hand stand
mop the floor got a box of smores
semi sweet chips sendin trips to your
granola, I told ya, but only the wrappers
unlike a goth kid hearin Puppet Master

This my desk mess
bottles excess
hand caresses
large quanitites of that BK express
This my desk mess
bottles excess
desk condiments

Bro just know I fuck with everyone (A1)
steak sauce Red Vel from Cake Boss
half-eaten and tossed under my bed now Lost
kinda like the show cause Hugo's my bro
I know, I'm on the desk spot
packin heat on my side, Frank's Red Hot
more complementaries than the Marriott
Like tater tots but they all we got
bags of Nilla Wafers silver by the acres.
ketchup, mustard, don't forget the salt shaker
See ya later Bob Evans potatoes
La-coste 3 bucks and I fed 'em to Gators
Plus the Ade, bottles on parade
Lemon-Lime, Cool Blue, and maybe some Grape
tape'll say Orange first then choose
a sport drink virgin, baby is it in you?

This my desk mess
bottles excess
hand caresses
large quanitites of that BK express
This my desk mess
bottles excess
desk condiments

Hostess better notice that I know this
other companies making cake progress
Entenmann's choke, Miss Little Debbie focused
whisking wizardry but I see no pocus
swarming locusts, boring like Oak Crest
Home Retirement, call I'm dialing
to a man dining in with a small violin
Ho-Hos in his bin so you know he dieting
Zebra Cake yeah we need the greats
second take give me a break
black on white, you can snack all night
with a pack of Lite, now go act alive
snack cake anatomy sugars
32 Gs take it out of me
packs of 2 so you knew it's major
know I'm the dude who made zebras endangered

This my desk mess
bottles excess
hand caresses
large quanitites of that BK express
This my desk mess
bottles excess
desk condiments
Track Name: Everything (Except Rap and Country)
Gonna take you back to 2006.
Since then our 2 biggest advancements
were cellphones and webpages.
That second one lost a little something though.
Now you can't pick your colors or autoplay music,
they pushed individuality to people with the
exact same opinionated goal, conform to non conformity.

Check my profile stay a while see my whole style
got a request? my accounts docile
for a new send from a new friend a new pal
discuss pop punk bands in great detail
I said wow no matter how many hits we get
better bet we're gonna be set, but only on the net
making music I'll prevail with my FL
pull an Owl City and they'll see I'm doing well
and I'll tell every girl that I'll never sell out
my post metal band's underground no doubt
well not a band just me, but I hope the labels see
that I click VSTs rappers sip Hennessy
and don't start me on that fucking country
I'll type up a tree stretching my about me
letters make shapes of devil horns in your face
say my playlist free of all rap and country

play it back cept rap and country
any track cept rap and country
anything cept rap and country
everything cept rap and country
play it back cept rap and country
any track cept rap and country
anything cept rap and country
everything cept.. cept..

it said pick a color, took black and black no other
reminiscent of some coal representing my cold soul
cementing my goals as a rocker of old
color scheme clean now my story is told
trip pants on and my hair long parents wrong
told to cut the lawn, challenge me? well they're on
said the internet I'm on too long
Mom, what the fuck you know about Myspace.com?
fucking bitch, fuck you
gotta deal with this E-war too
texts from this guy named HugeDude4u
calling me a little bitch for liking Goofy Movie 2
like VHS, I'm on the rewind.
nostalgic for bullshit that you couldn't find
pogs crazy frogs and Mike Lou and Ogg
swear to god I'm not odd unless it get my page abroad

play it back cept rap and country
any track cept rap and country
anything cept rap and country
everything cept rap and country
play it back cept rap and country
any track cept rap and country
anything cept rap and country
everything cept.. cept..

Traffic low I'm solo, these hits they don't show
my band taking off with kids facebookin photos?
I don't know, I won't go, myspace my home, bro
fuck's an iPhone as I flip out my Moto
I told yo these labels, are able
to take us off the net and put it all on cable
would they call, Im napalm, blowing like AC
or they ball, like Adolf, pronounce it Nazey
..Or Nazi...This my case, see.
they try and erase me...
If Tom sold 500, bitch I'mma sell six
see me raining more cheese than an Easy Mac mix
and I'm breezing that shit soon you all feeling it
spot that once was always been reeling in
you loose lame tricks on Twitter to me
see 2k6 was that place to be

play it back cept rap and country
any track cept rap and country
anything cept rap and country
everything cept rap and country
play it back cept rap and country
any track cept rap and country
anything cept rap and country
everything cept.. cept..

Sit around feeling like there's no god
by God all my clothes IZOD
JCPenny jeans cover my bod
the kids at school ain't thinking I'm odd
I'm odd, I'm odd
when I'm odd Goths give the right nod.
..the right nod... right nod
I'm odd.. I'm odd
Track Name: Silly Voice Verses
Jimmy:
So I'm swinging through clubs like Callaway
car validate by vested valets
best Saturdays with the best bag of Lays
I'll S to the ay to the rest of the babes
...I got A's for my ways
see how it plays and I'll copy the case
The test I aced they jacked up my face
chess club king but the queen disgraced
I was that dude making signs after school
class presidence evident cause I acted so cool
backing those rules while they're smacking us fools
getting hammered by tools hope they drown in the pool
...hope my point's sold
hope it'll be told just a day old, painting
verbal pics making you pay gold
or a freeze frame, they sold the paint cold

Just another silly voice on your verses
as I versus the worst biz
not the worst, hold the hearses
know I hexed all of your curses
stick it in your purses
in my zone and here we go
NYC see me silly
and LA say that I'm too easy
middle ground ain't gonna please me
I'll grab my keys be

Winston:
Go big or go home that's all that I known
broke out of Hebrew camp fore I was grown
Name's Winston busting in an instant
like my Easy Mac microwaving at home
clothes so-so ain't supposed to boast low
got 'em Costco for 24 pesos
now my face low, cause Mom's job pays low
another sudden visit to the home as I say slow
yeah.. you went to bad schools
threats to the teacher and he's like that's cool
wanna be tough, break some ankles
on the court, or until your bank full
thankful for any one of my boys
and video games which are not toys
M on the case then I'm in your face
and my syndicate'll save a silly voice

Just another silly voice on your verses
as I versus the worst biz
not the worst, hold the hearses
know I hexed all of your curses
stick it in your purses
in my zone and here we go
NYC see me silly
and LA say that I'm too easy
middle ground ain't gonna please me
I'll grab my keys be

Fan:
Dear Desk Condiments EP
I'm vocally insecure as he
dad laughs at me quite nastily
and I have to leave to White Castle see
I picked up an eating disorder so I order
16 burgers and soda per quarter
free re-fills on my crazy pills
and may be killed for my saying skills
Ad-libbing a new way to talk way to walk
data lock any thought getting taught by my pop
how to say mop, tip top chop shop
cop a drop top read a stop watch and not
use my voice on your verses
as versus the worst biz not the worst hold the hearses
use my voice on your verses
as versus the worst biz not the worst hold the hearses

Just another silly voice on your verses
as I versus the worst biz
not the worst, hold the hearses
know I hexed all of your curses
stick it in your purses
in my zone and here we go
NYC see me silly
and LA say that I'm too easy
middle ground ain't gonna please me
I'll grab my keys be

Gotta hand it to ya
your cords on top
but the pen's in our hands and we won't stop
page filled with rhymes and it don't stop
and you won't top

Gotta hand it to ya
your cords on top
but the pen's in our hands and we won't stop
page filled with rhymes and it don't stop
and you won't top
Track Name: Waiting
I'll make you take home whatever you own
feel in every bone that delivery phone
tone dialed up, riled up my style cut eating
outside inside there's used box pile up
with my luck some Thai fuck, brought fried Duck
Cool but split right before they jack the price up
..It's 2 for 20 I got room for many
March Madness saddest with the baddest Denny's
Final Four Slam with my vinyl seat fam
and we're finally rammed with 5 plates of ham
I ate with Sam, getting green here and there
but not cash, Powerade and pears
not even pears you can have your health back
Eat sour apples from my Bubblicious pack
sick vicious acts for delicious snacks
a medium pizza qualifies as that, and I sat

Chinese I tried that, Pizza I buy that
I wanna die fat and they asked well why's that?
..blood pressure 200 over 90
diabetes flied up to my knees
Here's my ID now gimme an IV
got K's to pay, follow up with the FC
calling up Zaxby's then see my ESPY
award for my messy behavior at Nestle's
never test me, 20 bars in a minute
and I'm in it, skinny never been it, but I'll win it
..I ate 20 hot dogs, what do I get dude?
The other 20 hotdogs that I just bet you
I took those too and I shook those dudes
can't leave my house but I hooked those shoes
fives are my Jays and there's pies on my face
ain't stood in days cause my thighs in my way
what a shame
Track Name: Applebee's, Chili's, and Friday's Are The Same Restaurant
Well I'm in for din, gonna get it in
sin synonyms my acts a minute in
violin serve sad songs so I feel wrong
Jacket nylon, Bee's the icon
food stacked in this dish pylon
right of the rack like I am Iran
friends I wronged all night long
see Applebee's with them neon lights on

Skate to the next spot past the Epcot
Chili's freely believe that that's hot
no it's not and I'm knowing that I'm throwing up
chicken fried steak and I know that it's going up
fall back from all that pass mall rats
restaurant reservations stacked
retract on the track and we're all back
need 50CCs of that mac and cheese stat

Thank god it's
Friday, my day has come
on the highway where I make my run
figuratively I'm a half ton son
eat more than one wing and my pants undone
bone out no doubt and I'll shout I'm stout
shit glued on the wall what's it all about
TGIF and I'm reading my text
says "fuck this place Friday after next"

strong similarity but they barely care
never be dared to cleverly stare
at the steak and signs 9 times out of 10
you're getting welcomes from the same 2 men
ain't calling you easy but they're up to something
the same Pepsi in this cup I'm bumping
dumping munchkins I'm on the road
of yellow bricks on my trip to decode

I organized a group phone call with the 3 CEOs.
Said I'm on to you guys, your ponzi scheme ain't cutting it.
Name the restaurants one thing or I'll go to the Times
with this info. The trio hung up. 10 minutes later
I get a brick through my window, the note said
I couldn't stop them.

Message self destructed my house erupted
but had finger prints cause they all touched it
forensics led to their eccentric end
time to send my un-pent revenge
unrelenting edge surprise my friend
and I fought a friend for 2 AKs and a
case of grenades and I'm pacing my ways
stake out for days in front of the HQ
they said we hate you so here's what I'll do
break through the glass with my left shoe
2 shots 2 guys no lie 2 died
you're widowing wives when you're on the cool side
up the elevator restaurant revelator
and I'll cater to masses
you 3 CEOs ready up see me go
get what you're owed and own up this lead load